Reality Television: The Opiate of the Masses
Real Housewives of New Jersey: Sneak Peek
Dude, I miss me some Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita.. and I can’t believe I’m going to say it…but Kathy Wakile too. Caroline Manzo and her family were the very definition of family values that people should aspire to have in their own families: loyalty and FUN – and the show without them definitely lacks genuine family binding. The Laurita family was pivotal to the show too, simply because they are dealing with REAL LIFE things that are a little bit more serious than tax evasion charges, like their son being diagnosed with autism. Bravo made a big mistake letting Jacqueline go – she was the voice of many regular moms out there dealing with this serious issue, and it was refreshing for viewers to see. Kathy was kind of the ‘buffer’ of the cast – but I’d take her over the twins, any day.
Ah yes, the twins. I don’t even want to invest in them enough to learn their names so I’ll just call them by what they OBVIOUSLY want to be known for. Oh, and being Italian. They definitely want you to know they are Italian. They’re good looking for their age, but what exactly are they on the show for?
Oh, that’s right. Since Teresa and Melissa have already reached the pinnacle of their fame, they have passed the Pretty Ladies Acting Trashy / Airing Dirty Laundry On Television torch to these obvious wannabes. Mark my words, Teresa and Melissa (who are happy to be getting a bigger paycheck while doing less work) will stand back with their arms crossed, laughing to themselves as they watch the new era of too-stupid-to-know-better ladies begin their 15 minutes…which, if I’m correct, will be more like 5 minutes. Nobody will care about them except local New Jersey neighbors.
But Amber…Amber! Something about Amber makes me love her. Maybe because she’s clearly batshit crazy – but even more so, I enjoy her because she is a cancer survivor who is probably more fierce now than she were before. Her loud voice, her ability to confront a shit talker head on, and her wide eyes may be extreme, but I don’t mind her craziness. Dare I say, I look forward to it. Other than tuning in for Teresa’s legal woes, viewers will get the most entertainment from watching her antics.
Speaking of Teresa’s legal woes, the saddest part of the one-hour sneak peek – in which Andy Cohen desperately looks for snippets to entice viewers to watch the upcoming season – would have to be the ending scene. You know it – the pivotal scene that producers save for last to create suspense (“NOW I HAVE TO WAIT TWO WEEKS BEFORE I INDULDGE IN THEIR PERSONAL PROBLEMS?!) that are always so full of excitement, wonder, and confusion that they are undeniably one of the best marketing ploys to get viewers to tune in. Whereas RHONJ promos had used the Teresa-table-tipping, Teresa-chasing-Danielle-Staub, and the undeniable fallout between everyone versus Teresa, this one is more complex – because it shows a 24 second clip of their daughter sobbing “I love you so much” to her father (who is facing charges and deportation). The camera is so invasive that it’s hard not to share in the emotion as you watch her choke on her tears and truly feel the pain she is portraying on TV, even as a 13 year old. It’s hard to watch, which begs the question; wasn’t it even harder to film, even more, harder to produce onto television? Just whom are the soul-less people responsible for traumatizing this little girl into filming her dark tween years for the world to watch? I totally get that the Guidice’s need money… but to what extent?
Dina is a queen, so if anything she just brings back hotness to the show – anything else seems contrived.
“I hate being on the news, I hate being in the newspapers, I hate that.” – Teresa
Welcome to Hollywood.